Saying No When Dating Online

One of the chief advantages of online dating is that the stings and fears of risk and rejection that usually occur from meeting people in the real world are significantly lessened.  In other words, it’s both easier to get rejected and to reject a person you’re no interested in when ou don’t know the person yet.  It allows you both to stop a relationship before it starts, making sure nothing leads to a sour extension of what would have been wrong for both of you anyway.

With this freedom, however, comes responsibility - the responsibility to not let a rejection get too sour because you feel like standing up for yourself or asserting your sense of importance.  Online, people often turn into bullies because they perceive the fact that there is no immediate threat to them if they do act rudely.

This leads to some sour rejections that don’t have to take place.  To avoid these sour interactions, here are some tips to say no properly when dating online.

The best response, usually, to someone you reject, is simply this:  nothing.  That is, after you have initially rejected a person, feel free to ignore them.  In fact, feel compelled to.  Many men who get rejected will just say anything to re-gain your attention and, once granted, they feel like they’ve won a small victory.  Reject, and ignore, because your rejections are final, and you should treat them that way.  People will sense this, and they’ll hopefully reciprocate with an appropriate response.

Doing otherwise usually leads men on too much; they feel that because you’re emotionally invested in the situation further, that there is still a chance for them to still turn things around.

Don’t lead them on.  In many cases, it might even be appropriate to let a guy down gently simply by not responding.  The only problem is that this message might not be loud and clear:  a direct rejection letter and further ignoring will usually do the trick.

The important thing to keep in mind that once you reject someone, no matter what they say that makes you feel the need to re-assert yourself, that you don’t do it.  This will only add gasoline to the fire.  Once you reject someone, consider the interaction over and move on with your life.  You’ll be glad you did.



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