Online Dating Guide - The First Message

So you’ve taken the time to set up your first online profile, made sure to include exciting pictures that portray an active lifestyle, and you made your profile enticing and engaging.  So what’s next?  Well, at some point, you’re either going to respond to a message you like, or you’re going to initiate communciation with someone you’re interested in.

It’s time to write “the first message.”

Don’t worry - it’s not as a high-pressure situation as you might think.  This isn’t even close to approaching women in real life - when they have a real-time opportunity to reject you or validate you - this is simply initiating a fun, light opportunity to something more down the line.  You certainly don’t want to communicate that you take this online dating thing so seriously - because what does that say about your offline life?

Instead, you’re going to keep the pressure off with something light and engaging, as always.  You want to be funny, but not too try-hard.  If you have a joke, make it, but don’t rely on the “joke” as the whole content of your message.

The key word here is “playful.”  This goes for both men and women.  What if you’ve never really been “playful” with the opposite sex before in your life?  Don’t worry; it can be cultivated and practiced.  Being “playful” is all about amusement that works for both people in the interaction.  It’s not about making a joke to get them to “like” you, and it’s not about totally amusing yourself, either.  Your humor should be a two-way street when you send a quick message of introduction.

Okay, you have the message;  so what’s an example of a great message you can send?  One that I have used to success is what I call the “fake marriage proposal.”  In short, you pretend that you’re already in love with the woman - or man, if applicable - and that you want to skip all of the formalities and just propose marriage.

This can be a difficult one to pull off, but remember that you should make it obvious that you’re just being playful and expressing your interest in a unique way.  As always, starting the interaction is about light and fun energy.  Focus on that energy, and not the content of your words, and you’ll be fine.



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