How to Banter Online

For many people, struggles with the real-life dating world too often coincide with troubles on the online dating scene.  In reality, you can make these differences work for you, and even help yourself out in a different area - you can leverage your online dating skills to go on more real-world dates, and bring your real-life charisma into the online world.

One aspect of this kind of charisma is bantering - one of the most enjoyable and effective ways for meeting people online.  If you know how to banter well, and do it playfully, you can increase your effectiveness with the opposite sex in a hurry.

What is bantering?  It’s basically playful conversation with a bit of an edge.  It’s not just telling jokes, and it’s not just about having witty comebacks.  It’s about flirting with a little hint of being controversial - and being somebody worth chasing.

An example of a successful banter might be an unusual response to a common question.  For example, if a guy sends you a message asking about your profile, you might make a joke that you don’t know what he’s talking about - leading him on a little bit before you let him know that you were just playing around.  This kind of bantering - the kind of bantering and teasing you do with old friends - sets up the opportunity for an instant connection.

For guys, keep in mind that bantering is only a means to an end - a successful flirting relationship online doesn’t really mean much unless you can lead it in a certain direction - up the escalation ladder.  You want to continue to keep a flirty, playful tone to your messages while casually pushing the interaction forward.

The key to banter while escalating your interaction is not to “take a time out” to get serious all of the sudden.  What do I mean by this?  I mean you don’t want to take the energy of an interaction down just because you think you need to ask for her phone number a certain way.  If you’re already bantering like old friends, then ask her number like old friends - do it with no pressure and no extra energy involved.  A simple “hey what’s your phone number?” will suffice.  If she responds with something sarcastic, such as “hey - you’re moving this pretty fast aren’t you?”  just say something casually back, like “haha, yeah.”

Keep it light, fun, and most importantly, don’t let it stale out - ride that banter and sexual tension up the escalation ladder and secure the meetup in person.

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