5 Advantages to Online Dating

For many people, “online dating” only sounds like a last resort, a place where people who couldn’t succeed at dating in real life turn to.  This couldn’t be further from the truth - after all, the goal of online dating is to secure fresh meetings and first dates with people you wouldn’t have met in real life.

Because of that, online dating has a number of advantages over traditional dating.  While it is not without its flaws - as with any mode or method of dating - it does have some great advantages over traditional dating because of advances in technology.  Here are 5 advantages to online dating.

1.  Online confidence.  For many men, approaching a woman of beauty who’s standing across the room inspires fear equivalent to jumping out of a plane or speaking in front of 5,000 people.  Dating online gives men who are afraid to approach women in real life an outlet to slowly introduce themselves - in an original way - to women they really prefer.

2.  Putting your best foot forward.  Your online dating profile gives you complete control over that always-crucial first impression:  you can put your best foot forward by selecting the best pictures to show - especially pictures that show you living an active lifestyle - and using engaging, playful words that make the opposite sex interested in communicating with you.

3.  Time management.  The chief advantage of using modern technology for the dating world is that it gives you access to better time management, allowing you to live an active life while your online profile does much of your advertising for you.  You can gain the interest of members of the opposite sex while you’re out golfing, swimming, or even working - and once it’s all set up, it becomes effortless.

4.  Mass communication.  In what other form of dating can you interact with more than one woman or man at one time, and not have it look tacky?  In online dating, you’re able to meet a multitude of people, even having simultaneous conversations, and then choose meetup times that work according to your schedule.  Mass communication also exposes you to more women or men.

5.  Meeting people!  Don’t forget, meeting people is what it’s all about.  Online dating is a means to an end;  keep that in mind and work towards the goal of meeting plenty of people to give you more options in your dating life.

How to Banter Online

For many people, struggles with the real-life dating world too often coincide with troubles on the online dating scene.  In reality, you can make these differences work for you, and even help yourself out in a different area - you can leverage your online dating skills to go on more real-world dates, and bring your real-life charisma into the online world.

One aspect of this kind of charisma is bantering - one of the most enjoyable and effective ways for meeting people online.  If you know how to banter well, and do it playfully, you can increase your effectiveness with the opposite sex in a hurry.

What is bantering?  It’s basically playful conversation with a bit of an edge.  It’s not just telling jokes, and it’s not just about having witty comebacks.  It’s about flirting with a little hint of being controversial - and being somebody worth chasing.

An example of a successful banter might be an unusual response to a common question.  For example, if a guy sends you a message asking about your profile, you might make a joke that you don’t know what he’s talking about - leading him on a little bit before you let him know that you were just playing around.  This kind of bantering - the kind of bantering and teasing you do with old friends - sets up the opportunity for an instant connection.

For guys, keep in mind that bantering is only a means to an end - a successful flirting relationship online doesn’t really mean much unless you can lead it in a certain direction - up the escalation ladder.  You want to continue to keep a flirty, playful tone to your messages while casually pushing the interaction forward.

The key to banter while escalating your interaction is not to “take a time out” to get serious all of the sudden.  What do I mean by this?  I mean you don’t want to take the energy of an interaction down just because you think you need to ask for her phone number a certain way.  If you’re already bantering like old friends, then ask her number like old friends - do it with no pressure and no extra energy involved.  A simple “hey what’s your phone number?” will suffice.  If she responds with something sarcastic, such as “hey - you’re moving this pretty fast aren’t you?”  just say something casually back, like “haha, yeah.”

Keep it light, fun, and most importantly, don’t let it stale out - ride that banter and sexual tension up the escalation ladder and secure the meetup in person.

Picture Rules

If you’ve just registered or signed up with an online dating program like Match.com or eHarmony, you might find yourself wondering about the kind of profile you’re going to build.  This is good - before you get started, you want to make sure you have all of the information possible to put your best foot forward.

And it all starts with the picture you put up.

For men and women alike, the picture is of vital importance.  Even if you don’t consider yourself traditionally attractive, there are ways to portray yourself in the best light possible, highlighting yoru features without being overtly manipulating.  Here are some rules for submitting good pictures for your profile.

First, post pictures that integrate with your lifestyle.  Show yourself doing what you love doing.  For example, if you love aviation, showing yourself in a pilot’s jacket next to a Cessna you just flew would do a lot to portray yourself as adventurous and carefree - more than words ever could.

The important thing is not to sell yourself short.  Even if you don’t have a “cool” hobby like aviation, you’ll want to show yourself doing the things that make you unique.  If you play the piano, show yourself at a piano.  If you love sports, show yourself rooting for your favorite team, or tailgating at your team’s game.  It’s about showing someone whose life consists of something more than taking pictures in their bedroom with the lights dimmed.

Second - and this is especially true for guys - be sure to post pictures that portray you as a social person.  You’ll want to post picures that show yourself having a good time with friends, for example, or with some fun-looking and attractive women you’ve hung out with in the past.  This goes a long way to portraying you as a trustworthy guy who is at least socially apt enough to make friends and have fun with them.

How do you accomplish this?  You don’t have to set it up - just bring a camera with you the next time you hang out with friends, or use your cell phone and remember to ask some strangers to take some pictures of all of you hanging out and having fun.

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short because you don’t think your pictures will be exciting.  It’s about the energy you bring to your pictures, not the content itself.  People will read that energy and give you a solid response.

Tips for Online Dating Profiles

If you’ve just started in online dating, it can be a difficult wold to break in to.  Where do you start?  What do you do?  Is it better to be yourself or to write a profile designed to illicit attraction from the opposite sex?

These are questions you want to get handled before your first forays into the online dating world, and luckily, this article will get you started in the right direction.  Here are a few tips for building an online dating profile that gets real results.

-Be yourself - but be your best self.  There is something to the old mantra of “be yourself,” but you also don’t want to take “be yourself” too seriously, get too comfortable, and scare some people off.  You want to be your best self, and you want to advertise your best qualities upfront.  You don’t want to manipulate anyone or convince them you’re something you’re not, but you do want to portray your best qualities in an honest way.  If you’re physically attractive, don’t hesitate to show it off.  Quick note:  if you’re a woman, you might want to tone down the bikini pictures - you’ll get swarmed.

-Write clearly.  I can’t tell you how many otherwise perfectly profiles I’ve seen that would have been more successful if they were at least clear.  If you write with poor grammar, forget to dot your i’s and capitalize letters, you look like a potential teenager lying about his or her age.  Be sure to write clearly about yourself.  If you’re not a natural writer of grammar artist, just be patient and take some time to invest into your online profile.

-Don’t be self-depreciating.  Many people won’t get your humor, even if your sarcastic self-depreciating humor is your strongsuit.  This applies especially well for men - just because you think you’re being witty doesn’t mean women will read the sarcasm in your words.  Remember:  all they get to see are some words on an Internet page and some pictures.  You want to write words that entice, not words that confuse by being too bold, self-depreciating, or unnecessarily sarcastic.

-Do be funny, but don’t make everything a joke.  Be serious about filing out some of the forms in your profile, especially as it pertains to who you’re looking for.  Be upfront about your standards - and make sure they’re real standards you have.  If you won’t ever date a woman who already has kids, make that known.  Just be sure to be upfront about these things so that, even if you whittle the field down to less women or men, at least they’re the kind of women or men you’re looking for.



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