Once you’ve gotten everything else handled - your pictures, your profile, your ability to message someone you’re interested in - it will come time to escalate.  Here’s a step-by-step guide for accomplishing just that.

First, here are the escalating levels of interaction with online dating:

-Meeting
-Interacting via e-mails
-Interacting via instant messengers
-Interacting on the phone
-Meeting in real life

These are the steps you’ll want to keep an eye on.  Remember that these steps aren’t set in stone - for example, you could go from interacting via e-mails to a phone conversation if you’re willing to ask for a phone number.  But these are the levels you should at least be aware of for when you wonder where to take the interaction.

Generally, the onus is usually on the man to escalate things, and thereby expose himself to possible rejection.  If you’re a man reading this, you’ll just have to accept this as an inevitability.  Take responsibility for where the interaction goes, because forcing a woman to lead an interaction isn’t only ineffective, it can also be a turnoff for her.

How do you escalate?  Two words:  outcome independence.  Don’t worry about rejection, or even if you worry, put yourself out there and don’t express that you worry.  Ask the phone number and make no excuses for asking for it.  Don’t try to be “cute.”  Instead of being cute, be casual - as if this thing happens to you all the time.  Believe me, when she sees that you’re casual and relaxed about asking for her number, she’ll feel relaxed, as well, and more likely to help you escalate.

Remember:  she’s not talking to you if she’s not interested.  That’s a simple rule of thumb, so don’t take the interaction too seriously like you really have to “make things happen.”  All you have to do, as strange as it sounds, is be yourself and take the interaction further by leading your way up the escalation ladder.

As simple as that sounds, online dating still requires some work and effort in order to make things happen for yourself.  Research around and get a good grasp of the basics:  submitting quality pictures, building a profile that’s enticing and engaging, and communicating in a friendly, playful way.

Once you have those basics down, you’ll be able to bring more of your own unique personality to online dating, only this time in a much more subtle way:  building an online dating network that takes advantage not just of one online dating site, but many.

A simple Google search will yield a plethora of free online dating sites - while some of these free sites aren’t as desirable as the big oens like eHarmony or Match.com, you’ll still be able to find online dating sites that have plenty of desirable men and women and give you the opportunity to meet more of them.

Bring energy and enthusiasm to this process.  Set up profiles across a range of sites, each with similar written profiles and pictures so that things stay consistent.  Note:  this is why you’ll want to make sure you have mastered your profile the first time, before you begin to build a network.

The more you put yourself out there, the larger a net you cast.  Don’t feel bad if you don’t necessarily get a lot of responses at first - feel free to tweak your profile across different dating profiles.

Building a network, you’ll be able to get in contact with more people and get more “interactions” under your belt.  This will not only give you an opportunity to meet more women, but to continue practicing the way you interact with them, and the way you engage them.  This will continue to yield long-term results that sticking to one dating site might not provide.  So build your network, if you really plan on mastering this online dating thing, and automate this part of your life so that you have more free time to build a rock-solid lifestyle.

It’s time to write “the first message.”

Don’t worry - it’s not as a high-pressure situation as you might think.  This isn’t even close to approaching women in real life - when they have a real-time opportunity to reject you or validate you - this is simply initiating a fun, light opportunity to something more down the line.  You certainly don’t want to communicate that you take this online dating thing so seriously - because what does that say about your offline life?

Instead, you’re going to keep the pressure off with something light and engaging, as always.  You want to be funny, but not too try-hard.  If you have a joke, make it, but don’t rely on the “joke” as the whole content of your message.

The key word here is “playful.”  This goes for both men and women.  What if you’ve never really been “playful” with the opposite sex before in your life?  Don’t worry; it can be cultivated and practiced.  Being “playful” is all about amusement that works for both people in the interaction.  It’s not about making a joke to get them to “like” you, and it’s not about totally amusing yourself, either.  Your humor should be a two-way street when you send a quick message of introduction.

Okay, you have the message;  so what’s an example of a great message you can send?  One that I have used to success is what I call the “fake marriage proposal.”  In short, you pretend that you’re already in love with the woman - or man, if applicable - and that you want to skip all of the formalities and just propose marriage.

This can be a difficult one to pull off, but remember that you should make it obvious that you’re just being playful and expressing your interest in a unique way.  As always, starting the interaction is about light and fun energy.  Focus on that energy, and not the content of your words, and you’ll be fine.

With this freedom, however, comes responsibility - the responsibility to not let a rejection get too sour because you feel like standing up for yourself or asserting your sense of importance.  Online, people often turn into bullies because they perceive the fact that there is no immediate threat to them if they do act rudely.

This leads to some sour rejections that don’t have to take place.  To avoid these sour interactions, here are some tips to say no properly when dating online.

The best response, usually, to someone you reject, is simply this:  nothing.  That is, after you have initially rejected a person, feel free to ignore them.  In fact, feel compelled to.  Many men who get rejected will just say anything to re-gain your attention and, once granted, they feel like they’ve won a small victory.  Reject, and ignore, because your rejections are final, and you should treat them that way.  People will sense this, and they’ll hopefully reciprocate with an appropriate response.

Doing otherwise usually leads men on too much; they feel that because you’re emotionally invested in the situation further, that there is still a chance for them to still turn things around.

Don’t lead them on.  In many cases, it might even be appropriate to let a guy down gently simply by not responding.  The only problem is that this message might not be loud and clear:  a direct rejection letter and further ignoring will usually do the trick.

The important thing to keep in mind that once you reject someone, no matter what they say that makes you feel the need to re-assert yourself, that you don’t do it.  This will only add gasoline to the fire.  Once you reject someone, consider the interaction over and move on with your life.  You’ll be glad you did.

Because of that, online dating has a number of advantages over traditional dating.  While it is not without its flaws - as with any mode or method of dating - it does have some great advantages over traditional dating because of advances in technology.  Here are 5 advantages to online dating.

1.  Online confidence.  For many men, approaching a woman of beauty who’s standing across the room inspires fear equivalent to jumping out of a plane or speaking in front of 5,000 people.  Dating online gives men who are afraid to approach women in real life an outlet to slowly introduce themselves - in an original way - to women they really prefer.

2.  Putting your best foot forward.  Your online dating profile gives you complete control over that always-crucial first impression:  you can put your best foot forward by selecting the best pictures to show - especially pictures that show you living an active lifestyle - and using engaging, playful words that make the opposite sex interested in communicating with you.

3.  Time management.  The chief advantage of using modern technology for the dating world is that it gives you access to better time management, allowing you to live an active life while your online profile does much of your advertising for you.  You can gain the interest of members of the opposite sex while you’re out golfing, swimming, or even working - and once it’s all set up, it becomes effortless.

4.  Mass communication.  In what other form of dating can you interact with more than one woman or man at one time, and not have it look tacky?  In online dating, you’re able to meet a multitude of people, even having simultaneous conversations, and then choose meetup times that work according to your schedule.  Mass communication also exposes you to more women or men.

5.  Meeting people!  Don’t forget, meeting people is what it’s all about.  Online dating is a means to an end;  keep that in mind and work towards the goal of meeting plenty of people to give you more options in your dating life.

One aspect of this kind of charisma is bantering - one of the most enjoyable and effective ways for meeting people online.  If you know how to banter well, and do it playfully, you can increase your effectiveness with the opposite sex in a hurry.

What is bantering?  It’s basically playful conversation with a bit of an edge.  It’s not just telling jokes, and it’s not just about having witty comebacks.  It’s about flirting with a little hint of being controversial - and being somebody worth chasing.

An example of a successful banter might be an unusual response to a common question.  For example, if a guy sends you a message asking about your profile, you might make a joke that you don’t know what he’s talking about - leading him on a little bit before you let him know that you were just playing around.  This kind of bantering - the kind of bantering and teasing you do with old friends - sets up the opportunity for an instant connection.

For guys, keep in mind that bantering is only a means to an end - a successful flirting relationship online doesn’t really mean much unless you can lead it in a certain direction - up the escalation ladder.  You want to continue to keep a flirty, playful tone to your messages while casually pushing the interaction forward.

The key to banter while escalating your interaction is not to “take a time out” to get serious all of the sudden.  What do I mean by this?  I mean you don’t want to take the energy of an interaction down just because you think you need to ask for her phone number a certain way.  If you’re already bantering like old friends, then ask her number like old friends - do it with no pressure and no extra energy involved.  A simple “hey what’s your phone number?” will suffice.  If she responds with something sarcastic, such as “hey - you’re moving this pretty fast aren’t you?”  just say something casually back, like “haha, yeah.”

Keep it light, fun, and most importantly, don’t let it stale out - ride that banter and sexual tension up the escalation ladder and secure the meetup in person.

And it all starts with the picture you put up.

For men and women alike, the picture is of vital importance.  Even if you don’t consider yourself traditionally attractive, there are ways to portray yourself in the best light possible, highlighting yoru features without being overtly manipulating.  Here are some rules for submitting good pictures for your profile.

First, post pictures that integrate with your lifestyle.  Show yourself doing what you love doing.  For example, if you love aviation, showing yourself in a pilot’s jacket next to a Cessna you just flew would do a lot to portray yourself as adventurous and carefree - more than words ever could.

The important thing is not to sell yourself short.  Even if you don’t have a “cool” hobby like aviation, you’ll want to show yourself doing the things that make you unique.  If you play the piano, show yourself at a piano.  If you love sports, show yourself rooting for your favorite team, or tailgating at your team’s game.  It’s about showing someone whose life consists of something more than taking pictures in their bedroom with the lights dimmed.

Second - and this is especially true for guys - be sure to post pictures that portray you as a social person.  You’ll want to post picures that show yourself having a good time with friends, for example, or with some fun-looking and attractive women you’ve hung out with in the past.  This goes a long way to portraying you as a trustworthy guy who is at least socially apt enough to make friends and have fun with them.

How do you accomplish this?  You don’t have to set it up - just bring a camera with you the next time you hang out with friends, or use your cell phone and remember to ask some strangers to take some pictures of all of you hanging out and having fun.

Whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short because you don’t think your pictures will be exciting.  It’s about the energy you bring to your pictures, not the content itself.  People will read that energy and give you a solid response.

These are questions you want to get handled before your first forays into the online dating world, and luckily, this article will get you started in the right direction.  Here are a few tips for building an online dating profile that gets real results.

-Be yourself - but be your best self.  There is something to the old mantra of “be yourself,” but you also don’t want to take “be yourself” too seriously, get too comfortable, and scare some people off.  You want to be your best self, and you want to advertise your best qualities upfront.  You don’t want to manipulate anyone or convince them you’re something you’re not, but you do want to portray your best qualities in an honest way.  If you’re physically attractive, don’t hesitate to show it off.  Quick note:  if you’re a woman, you might want to tone down the bikini pictures - you’ll get swarmed.

-Write clearly.  I can’t tell you how many otherwise perfectly profiles I’ve seen that would have been more successful if they were at least clear.  If you write with poor grammar, forget to dot your i’s and capitalize letters, you look like a potential teenager lying about his or her age.  Be sure to write clearly about yourself.  If you’re not a natural writer of grammar artist, just be patient and take some time to invest into your online profile.

-Don’t be self-depreciating.  Many people won’t get your humor, even if your sarcastic self-depreciating humor is your strongsuit.  This applies especially well for men - just because you think you’re being witty doesn’t mean women will read the sarcasm in your words.  Remember:  all they get to see are some words on an Internet page and some pictures.  You want to write words that entice, not words that confuse by being too bold, self-depreciating, or unnecessarily sarcastic.

-Do be funny, but don’t make everything a joke.  Be serious about filing out some of the forms in your profile, especially as it pertains to who you’re looking for.  Be upfront about your standards - and make sure they’re real standards you have.  If you won’t ever date a woman who already has kids, make that known.  Just be sure to be upfront about these things so that, even if you whittle the field down to less women or men, at least they’re the kind of women or men you’re looking for.

The truth is, like anything else, online dating has its own pros and cons, as well as advantages and disadvantages against traditional dating.  Here are the pros and cons of online dating.

Pros:

-Online dating gives you more options.  With online dating, you get access to people you easily wouldn’t have met otherwise, and you get to pick and choose your favorites in a way that traditional dating doesn’t allow.  You can choose to e-mail your “type” of woman, for example, or if you’re a woman, you’ll get to more easily “screen” who you let talk to you.

-Online dating can easily fit into your lifestyle.  For people without a lot of time on their hands, online dating can handle some of the courtship for them - even while they’re at work, or busy doing chores.  For example, you might receive e-mails and other communications while you’re busy doing something else.  If you handled dating in the traditional way, this simply wouldn’t be possible.

-Presenting yourself.  Online, you get the opportunity to make a first impression that’s almost totally under your control.  You control the pictures you post, the words you use, and even your first message to someone who piques your interest.  In real life, you might find yourself getting caught in a “bad moment” in which it is more difficult to approach the man or woman of your desires.

Cons:

-Immediacy.  In the real world, you get a chance to get immediate feedback on your approach or your appearance - you don’t have to wait for delayed responses.  While this might in itself be a good or bad thing - depending on the feedback you get - it does help you make progress in your dating life at a much faster rate.

In short, online dating has pros and cons like any other dating strategy, but if you know how to implement it, you can make it work for you.  Do some research, look at some successful online dating profiles, and you’ll be successfully dating in no time.

Well, start by looking in the mirror.  What’s right for you?  You’ll want to ask yourself this question before starting the online dating process anyway.  Here are some other handy questions you might ask to find the right online dating site:

-What’s more important:  amount of people on the site, or the quality of service?  There are plenty of online sites that offer a lot of members - and with a lot of members comes more opportunity for success - but you don’t want this to be the only variable you consider.  Would you rather talk to a lot of people, or would you rather like a site that has better service and more convenient ways to meet people who mesh well with your personality?

-How does the online dating site match people up?  Do they offer matches for you, or do you have to take the initiative?  If you’re really not reliant on online dating for your dating success, then you’ll probably be more interested in a site that matches you up with the appropriate people.  However, if you are really looking for a date or two to result of your online dating endeavors, be willing to take the initiative yourself to make things happen.

-What kind of people seem to log on?  Take demos and previews, usually offered for free by most online dating sites.  This will give you a clue as to the kind of people you might expect to meet online - free sites often have plenty of members, but members that, because they haven’t committed to the online dating financially, won’t be as dedicated to finding you as you are them.  Take a preview of these online dating sites and explore - does it “feel” right or not?

-What are your ultimate goals?  If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’ll want to meet someone via a site like eHarmony, which is looking to match up compatible people.  If you’re just looking for a few dates, you might try a free site like PlentyOfFish.com, in which you can meet a lot of people and send a lot of messages in order to find that person you’re looking for.